Solo Parenting: Dad + Son Trip to Taiwan
By Papa Leow • 10 minute read
I borrowed a large backpacking kind of bag from my sister, and made use of packing cells to sort easily. Also made sure to bring my own reusable containers, simply because I know I will be munching on a lot of food.
Sharing my (dad + son) trip to Taiwan on 18 Sep 2018. No specific focus on itinerary, I decided to write because some have asked me how I (papa) dealt with my 3 year old solo.
If anyone is looking for actual itinerary, I can share with you my shabby excel spreadsheet. I went with a simple plan, chose few attractions which we were interested in. Along the way, we made decisions based on the weather and our mood.
Just throwing out there what I can recall of.
PRE TRIP PACKING
Kid Items I brought: Tula Toddler carrier, Diapers (for bedtime & naps only thankfully), Doraemon soft toy, wet wipes, K’s clothes, sunblock, hat, raincoat (well planned, after I checked that it was going to rain lots in Taiwan), K’s pillow x 2 (just in case I lose one of them!), sweater.
Other things I brought: Tumbler, reusable carrier, tinkgkat, backpack x 2 (1 big one for main luggage, another smaller one for day trips or when I did not have to transfer hotel), small pouch for my personal handy items, electrical chargers, gopro camera, toiletries. Did not bring the laptop and survived on handphone throughout.
K was excited and wanted to/did his own packing and brought his favourite items along. I set the limit at 3 items + snacks, which he readily adhered to. I explained, and also reminded him that he would have to be responsible to take care of and carry his backpack the entire trip. I then asked him several times if he was sure he would be accountable, and he agreed firmly. And to my surprise, he really did carry his own bag the entire trip, and acting all responsible. I could not be more proud of him =D
DAY 1: FLIGHT TO TAIPEI TAOYUAN AIRPORT -> TRAIN TO DINNER -> HOTEL
I booked a 12pm+ flight that would arrive at Taiwan by 4pm. This allowed K to sleep sufficiently till around 8am, wake him up and get going to airport by around 10am. I ordered food in my takeaway #pockeat, which allowed us to lunch the moment we boarded the plane.
I always plan to keep the itinerary light, even if it means “wasting” a day on travelling. Before we boarded the plane, we took the time to roam the departure area of the airport, where K had all the time to look at koi and all the electrical items he likes. It keeps me relaxed, as I can allow us the time to really enjoy and learn about the things we experience. As with respectful parenting, by giving K the space to manage his own time and desires in activities, he transitions to the next event so much more readily without constant nagging and pushing by me.
We arrived on time, cleared immigration and off we went to find the train. If you google taipei metro, you will be able to see the master map. The only “confusing” thing was that those trains to the outskirts are not reflected the most clearly. In any case, google and asking around works best. Taiwanese are friendly imo and will help out more than required.
I purchased a train card for NT500 (~S$22), of which only NT400 could be used. Train rides mostly cost between NT30-60 for those short trips, which were reasonable. I spent a total of approximately NT850 ($38) on public transport for the entire trip. I also only took 2 cab rides, because I got lazy.
Travelling within Taipei is easy much with trains/bus. Their timings are accurate, frequency is good, and it is surprisingly not as crowded as I somehow imagined. In all, travelling around Taipei was a good experience for us!
We grabbed dinner (there are delicious food all over in Taipei. Won’t share much on food, but as a Vegetarian, there were plenty of options and we filled our tummies well! )
We did chance by this soy milk/ice-cream/dessert chain called 其實豆製所 after dinner, which offered really dense, flavourful (I could really taste soy milk and not just sugar syrup) and delicious soy milk. I had an affogato myself (yes it is almost too difficult to find vegan affogato so I had to have it.
Getting all responsible and acting adult!
Affogato and soy milk.
It’s not the easiest to get K (or any Kiddo) to share the things we love. I did not want him to have the entire sweet drink, but I did not force him to share. Instead, I got us to take turns drinking it, and he bought the idea. I also asked if he wanted to keep the drink for consumption the next day, and he rejected my suggestion. I respected it, and explained to him that he would not be able to enjoy the drink the next day should he choose to consume the entire bottle. He nodded as if he fully understood and gulped down. I re-visited this the next day, when he was a little upset he did not have the soy milk anymore, further explaining to him the values of pacing things out, keeping some for the future etc. Few months on now, he actually understands this concept better, and would pace himself out with the food he enjoys. I am so glad he learnt to self manage, and regulate his own desires in a controlled environment.
DAY 2 & 3: JIU FEN
Our children are like a blank sheet, and it’s important what we choose to fill them up with. Growing up in our family, it’s no surprise K is quite environmentally friendly, knowing the consequences of our actions, reminding us to bring our BYO, and many more. He also surprises us with statements like “if not the fishes will die because of the plastic”.
We checked in to a random hotel for the first night, before making our way to Jiu Fen 九份.
Made our way to Jiu Fen via the train & taxi (I was lazy to queue at the bus stop). K was pretty patient during the 30+ min train ride, sight seeing with me, and mostly played with his electrical items.
About 2 stops prior to us reaching Rui Fang train station (the station to get off to transit to Jiu Fen), I positively “Enter their World”, engaged him on his activity, and effectively transited him out of his engrossed state of self-play, pack up like a “big boy” would, put on his bag, and moved on. Not gonna lie, I felt like I was an awesome dad who was in full control of the situation, with a sensible kiddo who knew how to take care of his own items.
With a little pre trip planning, some additional weight lugged around, we managed to do a more zero waste vacation trip. We gain good lessons and habits out of it, and bring about lesser destruction for everyone.
Once again, got to OMAK my wife for suggesting me to bring the raincoat. World best decision. Cannot thank her enough for her thoughtfulness and foresight ❤
Interested to learn more about OMAK? Join the orientation!
Wife and I are sleep maniacs. Rest is of highest priority for our kiddo. The routine sets them up to deal with changes better, and would set them up to deal with bigger changes in life in the future on their own.The rest gets them re-charged, providing a positive environment for them to learn and experience life. The quiet time also makes parenting so much more bearable, when we are re-charged, and have a kiddo who is easier to deal with when he is well rested.
Dear parents, take my word (10000000%) for it and invest in good routine and rest for your kiddo!
The thing with hotels is that their check in times are always too late for K’s nap. I went to the Min Su for our stay at Jiu Fen, and was unable to effect an early check in. Spotted a sofa, and decided to attempt a nap for K. To my biggest surprise, K actually fell asleep. It’s a surprise because K is one tough nut when it comes to nap. Back at home, we always try and return home for naps, because the slightest of sounds would awake this kiddo. This day, he slept for 2 solid cycles of sleep (90mins)! I was thrilled, as I also napped a little beside him. What more, I forgot to put on diaper for him prior to his nap, and thankfully he did not pee. Couldn’t be happier at such an “achievement” HAHA
For accommodation, we stayed at Jing Zhan which was at Jiu Fen itself. It was homely, and the family who hosted was very friendly. They were able to prepare vegetarian breakfast for us, and two thumbs up to their delicious food!
Side Track: Instead of traditional Parent Led Weaning (PLW) where parents usually porridge feed their kids and went with milk and more milk, we decided to give Baby Led Weaning (BLW) a try the moment K turned 6 months old. I could still remember the mess he made for many months, and us having to clean up after his mess each meal. Fast forward to now, K eats a wide variety, and eats on his own well. Having being exposed to a wide variety of food, he is adventurous with his tastebuds and this is ultimately a happy problem for us. This is why K scares teachers with his appetite, and they cannot figure out why he is still so small sized haha. (PS: In any case if any parent is interested in BLW, please read up on it early and properly, convince yourself your effort will be worth it in the long run, before you embark and end up frustrating yourself in the process)
We visited the Gold Museum near Jiu Fen. Easily accessed by bus, I recommend checking the timings in advanced first.
We went for gold panning (淘金) at the Museum, and I lost my cool with K there.
After my first successful attempt at getting K to nap at the Min Su, I got bold and let him nap on our dining chair at the restaurant. Feeling all smug, as I ordered a cuppa and enjoyed my quiet time with this KO-ed nugget.
It was one of the more fun event we saw, and K seemed excited about it. As always, I would pre-explain what is to be expected at the activity, and set basic boundaries in a respectful manner. In this example, I explained to him the process of finding gold, the items we would be using, and that we needed to be careful with them. I also explained we had to listen to the instructions closely to be able to find the gold. I reminded him that if we do not follow the instructions, I would have to take over.
If you know me, I am totally not for the result in my kiddo. I could not care less if we found little gold. I simply wanted him to learn the science/process behind. And that required a toddler to be attentive, or at least attempt to follow what was instructed.
K did not follow any instruction in the end, and that upset me. Despite my pre-briefing, he went on to splashing the water, throwing the sand into the water pond, and made a mess. I got upset. I was upset he was not his normal goodie-good-boy state. I was annoyed he did not cherish the activity and “wasted” the sand. I was upset he did not listen to the staff like how he promised he would when I laid the boundaries. I pulled him aside, lectured him for not keeping to his words, and took over the event. He further went on to splashing water at others (obviously having fun in his own world), to which I forced him away from the splashing by restraining him.
After the activity ended, I cooled down and explained to him in detail why I was upset. Reflecting on it, I wondered if the activity was too difficult for him to begin with. I wondered if the “fun” I expected from the gold panning was in fact my own perception, and that I had imposed my expectations onto him, which was simply not what he imagined it to be. I wondered if perhaps splashing water was indeed more fun in his eyes. I wondered if I could have offered an alternative and allowed him to splash water in another area in a more controlled manner. I wondered if I could have been more calm, and not upset myself that much, having placed too much expectations. I wasn’t going to spoil him by allowing him his way, but I wondered if I could have been more compassionate, be wiser with how I chose to react, and have the ability to do it properly.
I have yet to find a solution to this, and that tells me I have much to improve on, and there must be a better solution out there.
I love hiking. It’s something we cannot get enough in Singapore, and it’s work out while we enjoy nature. We visited Teapot Mountain (access through rear of Gold Museum) early next morning and it was a really peaceful hike. It was tiring because of the many steps we had to take, but the cooling weather and scenery made it worthwhile. Unfortunately, the last portion of the hike was steep and full of open rock surface, and I did not attempt further with K in tow.
K is not the most adventurous, or athletic kid who can jump/spring/run/climb around quickly and with ease. I have always hoped for him to be as “athletic” as me (HAHAHA self denial), and I was conscious to not impose onto him my own perceptions and expectations.
Here, he climbed a small rock so ever carefully and managed to turn around. He then flashed the happiest and most accomplished look I have seen in a while, as he went “WOWWW!!” “WOAH!!” and beamed with joy. I could not help but rejoice it with him. As always, no “good jobs” from me. I simply went “you managed to climb the rock and turned around on your own!”, gave him a Hi 5, and asked if he wanted to try other rocks, to which he declined.
Son, you really showed me that in life, it’s not always about being the highest and strongest. It’s about being comfortable where you are, and to celebrate small success as you move on to bigger things in life. It was important you realised you are able to do a lot on your own when you are given the time and space to go explore. Papa is here to guide you and keep it as safe for you, but you will have to be self motivated to explore and figure out life on your own after all.
I loved the photos K took for me this trip. It’s one of the very few times he gets to touch our phone, and he was all serious to take the “best” photo for me. It was hilarious as I reviewed the photos, and I could not help laughing at his (“artistic”) shots.
DAY 4 : BITOU CAPE -> WULAI
Before we left Jiu Fen, a kind friend of mine recommended me to explore Bitou Cape. We took a 25mins or so bus ride from Jiu Fen to reach it, and it was worth it! Not really advertised online, it was a scenic walk near the sea!
We then took train + bus to Wulai (random pick by me). Taiwanese were really friendly, and without fail each time someone would offer a seat to K, even when I (papa) was with him.
At times, K insisted on standing. This instance, he wanted to sit across and away from me (something new and out of the norm). I asked if he was ready to be seated properly throughout the train ride because it was for his own safety. He assured me he would be fine, and with that I settled into my seat across him. Surprisingly, he sat fine (without all the fidgeting of a toddler) and even waved at me a couple of times when I glanced at him to check on him.
It’s really a fine line to balance between protecting him and letting him go try. I was ready for him to fall if it was accidental, for we can always learn something out of it. It turned out that he was ready and cautious enough, and I could tell he was pleased with the trust I placed upon him.
Look at him smile!
Laying on the bench in Starbucks
Took a nap at starbucks, simply because we were all tired from the travelling. This kiddo was more adaptable than I had expected.
Wu Lai was a quiet town with one big river running through. There was not much things to do, and we simply walked around the town and did simple activities.
DAY 5 : WULAI -> BEITOU (HOT SPRING)
Having arrived late the first night, we took the next morning to continue exploring Wu Lai.
I came for the Hot Spring! >.O Boy, I have not felt so relaxed in a long while and totally enjoyed the father-son time.
We then moved on to Taipei, and I visited 悦意坊 (Taipei）for a sumptuous vegetable soup & rice set meal. I approached the lady staff on duty and asked if I could put K to nap in the restaurant. Even though the restaurant was closed once lunch hours are over, she was so kind and accommodating to us, and allowed us to nap when the restaurant stopped its operations. As the staff prepared for dinner and took their break too, we too managed to recharge ❤
After nap, I was too tired to walk the entire Shi Lin Night Market, because I was lugging all our luggage and it was tough to manage with the rain and all. We ended up packing our food and had it back in the hotel in Beitou. Do check weather forecast and have all your rain gear ready.
DAY 6: BEITOU (HOT SPRING) & HOME SWEET HOME
Ok I cannot be a travel blogger. I’m tired of writing, so I will spam some photos and be done.
Stayed at Hotel Double One at Beitou (which was quite out of the way) and breakfast was really good!
Room was spacious (and just a tad old alr), and we had our private hot spring bath pool, which K really enjoyed. Yes I know it’s not the most environmentally friendly thing to do =S
K fed fishes at the hotel too, and he “Messed Up” (look out for the article I wrote from what I learnt from this soon on DBD!)
Weather forecast claimed it would rain the entire day, and I completely threw away my plan to head to Yang Ming Shan and promised K other activities to do. Turned out weather was beautiful much, and I was disappointed much because I could not get to hike. Well, got to still enjoy the holiday and so we carried on with what was planned.
We basically spent the day at Zhong Zheng Parent Children indoor playground/play centre. Kids simply have their own ways of imaginative play. I like to stand off and watch them imagine on their own. Often, parents jump in too much and too early, and disrupts their flow. Learn to step back, and react less. We get to observe more, and realise they are way more creative than us.
I received looks from passerby as I guarded K when he napped. It must have looked weird and too rugged. But a recharged and well rested kid, is all that matters =D
Ok, fast forward to last day. Managed to squeeze in a haircut on the way to airport and both of us looked sharp and smart!
If you are wondering how I managed to get my haircut while taking care of K….. Same idea, I pre-explained to K what was going to happen when Papa was going to cut his hair, and laid the basic boundaries for him to stay close to me and keep his hands to himself (instead of saying No No No. By now one would have realised my few same tricks). Thankfully, he was all good and stuck by me, even imagining that he was taking photos for me, just like what I did for him.
Ok, that’s it. A little abrupt to the ending.
I definitely hope some of my sharing would work well for parents out there, as we all learn to parent with great Compassion, Wisdom, and Strength. Practice it consistently and passionately enough, and parenting will be so much more meaningful and with greater (not necessarily easier) ease!
